Written by - Aluko Deborah Tofunmi
Ashley paces to and fro the Veranda of the Mediation room. She just had a tough experience at the Mediation table as one of the parties proved difficult, agressive and resolute at every suggestion made. The most challenging aspect of the situation was that the party in question has also refused to open up and shed more light for the sake of detail and clarity. Hence, making the conflict look seemingly impossible to resolve. She will have to meet with the parties in a few weeks time to review the ideas and solutions together with them. Now, Ashley who is an experienced Mediator quickly discovers that there's an issue of distrust among the parties in trying to reveal some facts of the conflict. She soon starts ruminating and researching on the following ways to build trust among the parties;
• Equal Caucausing: In order to maintain trust between parties, the Mediator must make sure that each party received an equal number of Caucaus. Caucaus is a private discussion during Mediation with just one party at a time, for the sake of confidentiality and greater clarity. Hence, to avoid suspicion or a feeling of insecurity or distrust from the other party, caucaus should be conducted equally and fairly.
• Showing Empathy: It is highly essential for the Mediator to not only sympathize but empathize with the parties and let them know how much you understand them and you're willing to help them reach a consensus that will help the parties reach a lasting solution. Let them know how much you as a mediator respect their perspectives and sides of the argument. Show a sense of connection or relation to each of their tales and experiences. Express your desire to communicate with both your listening and talking skills.
• The Scape Goat Mechanism: Whenever Mediation ends in a deadlock, ensure you take the blame as a mediator, even if you don't own the blame. Asides the fact that it helps to ensure that the parties don't get to blame each other and further escalate the conflict, it also helps to build trust in the sense that they can give the conflict resolution another shot, and work on a new dimension for better outcomes.
• Equality and Fairness: The Mediator should ensure not to take sides with any of the parties. When a mediator works by the principle of fairness and equality, the parties can be rest assured and comfortable of a safe conflict resolution environment to express themselves without any iota of intimidation and distrust.
• Ask Questions Discreetly: While trying to reiterate or clarify from any of the parties, the Mediator should ensure that they are not trying to implicate, accuse, blame or robe any of the parties with an allegation. The questions should be open-ended and void of any iota of threat. This way, the parties are more likely to be free, comfortable and open up to each other.
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